Thursday, May 04, 2006

A Room of One's Own

When I was a child, I had a room of my own. It was small but I didn't realize that at the time. It seemed fine to me. The window looked out on a vacant lot and a house on the other side that was creepy. An old couple lived there, but we rarely saw them The man occasionally left the house , driving his beat up car, never looking left or right. At Halloween kids were afraid to go up to their front door, but a few were dared into doing it. I worried that he was looking out his window into mine, and I think I saw him doing that one night. From then on I closed the blinds even on hot summer nights.

My closet was miniscule and for some reason I always thought I could hid in there if necessary some day. Why I thought that is a mystery.

The rest of the room was ordinary with a vanity and dresser and twin bed against the wall. At night Dad would knock on the wall and say, "Night, night, princess."

I'd respond, "Night, night, Prince."

Eventually that stopped when I entered teen years and Dad was replaced by my boyfriend, not in the next room, but in my life. But that is another story.

In college I had a roommate. During my sophomore year, my boyfriend and I were married and from then on I never again had my own room. I had given this condition some thought before the prompt. My daughters each had their own rooms, but their Dad and I shared one. I envied the wealthy Europeans I saw in movies who had their own rooms that connected so that one could have privacy or intimacy, a great idea.

Now that I have begun meditation, I would love to have a room of my own. I would meditate there, write, read, be me. I think our guest room is soon to undergo severe remodeling. What a refreshing idea.

7 Comments:

At 7:38 PM, Blogger Believer said...

Welcome to the Manor, your room is just what you wish it to be, the furnishings what you've always dreamed of and the view is the one you most desire. Now fill it with all everything you need to create and enjoy your freedom.

 
At 1:00 AM, Blogger Imogen Crest said...

Welcome, it's good to have a room of your own, however small. Or time just to be. Believe me, I know!(Hermit)

 
At 2:26 AM, Blogger Imogen Crest said...

From a women's point of view, personal space is paramount, because we are so much in the world and always giving:-) Measured hermit time is brilliant. I couldn't be a full time hermit even if I tried:-) We must grab our private space where we can:-)

I think Zen is a state of mind and requires constant practice, alone or in a group. It is not a part time practice at all. Thanks for your thoughts, which allowed me to get clear on this issue!

 
At 1:30 PM, Blogger Phyllisophigal said...

I agree that a "place" will suffice. I'd like to put fresh flowers there, a small bouquet or just one stem. And a Patrick Bernhard CD and maybe a small area (I do not care for the word "altar")for some of my goddesses. I'm just beginning on this journey and will be trying out new things and discarding those that don't work. Thank you for your comments.

 
At 6:14 PM, Blogger Jen, First Mate S/V Northern Passage said...

I don't have room of my owm - and I have been craving it. Yes, interacting with the world and learning to be okay with it all arounhd you is important. But my reeality is a 3 and 5-year-old who are on top of me, talking to me, asking for thinks, needing help all the time. Isolation sounds like heaven some days....

 
At 6:21 PM, Blogger Heather Blakey said...

Lois is right Phyllis. I have written a few articles about having a Room of Your Own or Sacred Space over the years. This may just prompt me to dig some of that out and repost.

 
At 7:27 PM, Blogger Phyllisophigal said...

Jenwondering - your time will come and sooner than you expect. I hope you are able to get a weekend away occasionally. All young parents need that solitude. But when you are a grandma like me, you'll yearn for those arms around you, the sweet smell of the children's hair after a bath, their soft skin and brilliant comments. (I know now that seems impossible).

 

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