We're Roommates!!

Shiloh and I decided to 'share' a room in Riversleigh Manor. SOme of our posts (like today's) are a collaborative effort. Others will be our solo works and we'll be sure to let you know which ones are collaborative.

And so, without further fanfare, our first collaborative piece.

I sailed into the room Shiloh and I are sharing at Riversleigh. "Hey, Shiloh!! You're... oh sweetie!! What's wrong? You look so miserable!!"

Shiloh did indeed look less than her best, she was pale, with fever-flags waving on her cheeks, and almost bruise-like dark circles under her eyes.

"I've got bronchitis." Shiloh's voice was weak, and husky.

“What did?" I was interrupted as my cat-panions met Shiloh's two for the first time.

Contrary to concerns, there was no fluffing of tails or hissing. They miaowed, trilled, and purred to one another, so much like a human conversation I had to laugh.

"What did the doc put you on sweetie?" I was sitting on the edge of Shiloh's down bed absentmindedly smoothing her royal purple duvet. She rattled off the scripts that had been prescribed.

"Ahhhh, that's good. Now... 'Dr. Gwenn' is in..." I grinned and opened my bag of herbals. First I had Shiloh smooth a dot or two of eucalyptus oil under her nose, as I rubbed bay leaf oil over her back and sides, to relax muscles made knotted by her coughing.

"It doesn't hurt as badly to breathe!!" Shiloh marvelled as I set about making a mug of hot tea with honey and lemon.

"We'll have you resting better in a jiffy. I'll bet it has been miserable to try and sleep." I stirred the hot water, tea ball, lemon and honey slowly. The scent of chamomile and wild cherry swirled up as I chased the tea ball around the mug.

Shiloh wrapped shaking fingers around it before sipping carefully. She took a second, larger sip and sighed audibly.

"I take it you like it?" I brushed Shiloh's hair from her face as I asked this.

"Its..."

She paused for a couple more sips. "Awesome opossum!”

Before I answered her I chuckled wickedly, “You had to say that exactly like that didn't you???”.

Her voice was full of little jagged edges as Shiloh asked me, “What is so funny about that??”

“Have I ever told you the tale of "The Possum Foot"?” I couldn't help but snicker, the Possum Foot is a favourite family tale.

“No, but I have always said awesome opossum since I was a kid.” Shiloh looked both confused and plaintive.

“Ohhhhhhhh Gods!!! It started as a 'game' of Matt’s and mine, we would each try to mess with each other's head worse than they did ours.”

Shiloh eyed me with worry, I’m sure my ‘Matt face’ was clear and all over my face..

I waved my arms for emphasis. “ It all started on a balmy late spring day in Oregon, sweetly blue skies, cotton-balls-on-smoked-glass clouds, and breezes redolent of rich earth, greening grass, and flowers.”

Shiloh settled on her feather bed to enjoy the tale, her face full of anticipation and her eyes were alight.

“ Jim, my ex, came into the house quite agog with excitement. He babbled non-stop as he dragged me to the old, rickety shed; the one that started life as a carriage house and stable around the end of the 19th century.”

Shiloh leaned forward a bit, enjoying every word. We are both misplaced rancontuers.

He blurted, ‘You have to see this!!!

“It's totally sick, but it looks really cool!!! I found it under the floor of the shed!!! ”

” Wait till you see it!!!" His eyes were a-bug and even his moustache was shivering.”

Shiloh laughed aloud, her eyes brimming over with her quiet mischief.

“When I came face to corpse with a mummified possum I started laughing helplessly!!!

There he was, face dried into a permanent snarl, one bony fore-toe caught in the final act of defiance. All that remained were the bones, skin and a hair here or there.”

“Aaaaaaaaaawwwwww… the poor thing!” She blurted, her face a mixture of empathy for the possum, and laughter at the image of the mummified possum presented.

Shiloh laughed aloud, her delight brightening the room as well as the sunshine gleaming through the window before being again laid low by that rending cough.

“Yes, he did look really cool though.” I know my eyes were a-bug with remembered excitement.

“ Jim had a 35mm camera, so I told him he had to take pictures of it. That sent both of us off into another fit of laughter; while Jim was setting his tripod just as our friend and neighbour Julia woke up from her ‘Thursday nap’.

I called her over as Jim freaked out. "You can't call Julia over here!!! She's a Christian!!!”.”

“W-what does that have to do with anything?” Shiloh struggled to speak and began to cough, a wet rattling bark.

“Of course, as soon as Julia saw it she burst out laughing so hard her face bloomed a bright rose. "It's... the... awesome possum!!!!" She gasped that out and ran for her camera, as Jim stared after her, his face a study in 'how-did-Gwen-know-that-Julia-would-laugh-at-it?'.” I stopped to relish the image of my ex nonplussed.

“Are you sure you want to hear this now??”

“Yes, you told me that laughter is the best medicine.” As ill as she was, Shiloh still managed to look and sound mischievous.

I took a deep breath before continuing. “Gwen knew because had she helped Julia, and they had visited together as they worked, she had heard a number of tales involving, kids, possums, beagles, and gallon pickle jars. Julia’s nickname became “Farmer Girl”.”

Shiloh was off and laughing again!!! We both paused to take off our glasses, wipe our eyes and clean the tear-dots off the lenses.

“As both Julia and Jim were clicking pictures of the aforementioned mummified possum, another friend and neighbour, Patty, came out of her apartment and was immediately beckoned to the 'scene of the crime'. She burst out laughing, and then went for her camera!!”

Shiloh fell to one side on her bed and laughed brifly until she started coughing again, one hand waving weakly for me to stop. I paused until she caught her breath, and I was sure she would feel all right..

“Her grandson adored the poor desiccated wretch and begged to take him home as a toy. He was told the truth and decided it wasn't such a good idea after all, but he did brave a few pats when Grandma went to get her camera.”

“Oh that poor opossum!” Shiloh’s voice was so concerned, until she started laughing again.

“Everyone finished taking their pictures, and as great excitements will do, things calmed down and everyone else returned to their respective apartments. This left Jim and I staring at the opossum in the yard (it looked better on the lush green ryegrass).

When Jim moved it from under the shed to where the pictures were taken he couldn't bear to touch it, so he picked it up with a snow shovel. This broke off one gnarly foreleg at the elbow.”

“So... there was but a foreleg left, because another neighbour wanted the corpse for a diorama.”

“Eeeeeeeeeeewwwwww!!!!” Shiloh didn’t like that idea and nor had I back then.

“Jim and I scratched our heads and asked, "What can we do with it?”

We would look at the opossum's foot, then at each other with a questioning expression on our faces, and after the third time, we both changed expressions to "Ah-haaahhhh!!!" and exclaimed, "Matt!!!" In perfect unison.”

“Matt? Ooooooooooohh boy!” Even as sick as she was, Shiloh’s laughter is infectious, and I am not immune.

“So…. ...while Jim varnished the opossum's foot and attached it to a little chain, I was to make the 'gift box' for it."

“For six days I was the proverbial blank slate, until a Gary Larson cartoon caught my eye right before I looked at the now glistening foot and I knew.” I grinned evilly for effect.

“Ooh dear!!! What did you do? And what does Matt have to do with this?” Shiloh spluttered

“I laughed so hard, loud and long that Jim came in and asked what was so funny. He'd heard me laughing a block away!!! All I would tell Jim is that I had thought of the perfect gift box.”

“And what was that??” Shiloh eyed me warily, she knows the sick turns my mind doth take.

“I took a quart milk carton, the waxed cardboard sort, and covered one whole side in folded white paper. On this paper I glued a picture of the whole possum. Over and under that, in watercolour pens that matched the colours of the rest of the carton I wrote...

"Have You Seen Me?”

“Call 1-800-Opossum'!”!

Shiloh’s eyes were huge as she giggled and quickly cleared her throat. “Sorry Gwen.”

“Thank you sweetie.”.

“That was over the photo of the possum.” I continued with the tale.

“Clever…” Shiloh’s face refused to remain still, it hurried in to laughter as she spoke; before the cough got her in its clutches again.

“Under it I wrote,

“Name:

Awesome Opossum

Last Seen:

Corvallis Oregon, May 17th, 1998.

Distinguishing Characteristics:

extremely dry skin...”.”

Shiloh laughed aloud, the music of it bouncing off the corners of the high-ceilinged room, until the cough returned for another round..

“I then covered that whole page with clear Contact Paper that wrapped maybe 1/16th of an inch over the sides, filled it with Styrofoam peanut. Then I hung the opossum foot from the top of the carton by its chain, so it hung inside the carton, and I glued the lid shut.”

“Where does Matt fit into all this?” Shiloh asked, she doesn’t let go of something easily.

“ The next morning I packed it in my carry-on bag and flew to Arizona for Mother's Day. Matt met me at the airport and I made the mistake of giving him the carton while he was driving his truck.”

I grinned at the anticipation on Shiloh’s face, she loves hearing a grand tale almost as much as telling one.

“Matt took one look at the carton (on a 'regular' side), and crinkled his face up; so I told him, "Look on the other side.” He, of course turned it the wrong way. “No, no, the other other side!!".”

Shiloh and I were giggling for a short time… ‘other other side…’. Who hasn’t said something along those lines in their lifetime??

“Matt took one look at the awesome possum and went, "HOOOOOOOO!!!!! HOOOOOOO!!!!! HOOOOOOOO!!!" at the top of his lung in the cab of his pickup. I was undone by laughter!”

Shiloh was undone as well, again removing her glasses to wipe laughing-tears., coughing as she did

“Then he mashed the ‘opossum' side onto the passenger side window whilst shouting at the other drivers, "Have you seen me? Have you seen me??”!

Shiloh has seen a picture of my brother Matt, so she could visualize it clearly.

“Then,”, I paused for emphasis, “A miracle did occur!!! We were the only people on he freeway during rush hour that had a 'safety cushion' all the way around us, a minimum of two car-lengths.”

Our laughter overflowed the old-fashioned door to the hallway and echoed through the other garret. Shiloh was laughing so hard she was holding her sides and struggling for breath between the coughs. To be perfectly honest, I wasn't far behind her!

“What are you two laughing at in there??” An unfamiliar male voice with Midwestern undertones called up to us.

In perfect unison Shiloh and I sang out, “Awesome Opossum!!” Then we fell to our backs on our beds and laughed. Every time we would calm down enough we would see one another and start laughing again.